You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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