She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
kristin has been a bad kristin
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
