Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
