Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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