So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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