I'm laying in your front yard are you home
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize