Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
