And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
