I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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