Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
