I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
