I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
