Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
