I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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