I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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