Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
