maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize