in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
