D3 body, D1 cock
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
there is glitter all over my balls
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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