Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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