i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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