my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My pussy is not your playground.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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