I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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