yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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