i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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