last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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