i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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