my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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