I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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