and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
