He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
birth control should be required to get into college
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Randomize
