this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
