My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
