So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
