When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
