I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
