he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
