I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
it glows. i had to have it.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
