I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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