miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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