If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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