I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i've created a new STD.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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