Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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