he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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