It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
