If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
North Korea, Best Korea!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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