I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
