your room smells of hookers.
And success
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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