Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
