i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
