absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
it glows. i had to have it.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
