You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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