laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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