Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If I die, sorry about rent.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
