I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
