the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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