i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
