my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize