i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
