Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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