This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
