Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
