Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize