everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
