yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
